brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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