pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
