A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
