i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
