Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
barbara walters just said penis...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
