thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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