Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
