I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
