Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
