You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Bring me that man meat
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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