dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
