Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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