I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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