my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
