Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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