i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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