i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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