If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you win again, gameday.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
