Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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