I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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