he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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