everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
should my penis look like a turkey
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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