bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
