i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
