Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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