I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Please don't give away my fajitas
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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