***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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