Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
