She went from zero to smokin in five shots
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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