remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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