Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
