You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
