Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
