no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
