Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Michael Bay diarrhea
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
