I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
