I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
