I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
