Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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