Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
