So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
