HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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