her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
