those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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