The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
