Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
