On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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