I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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