You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
