Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
